Jane Seymour

How many godmothers does one ship need?

Before you answer, please recall that Royal Caribbean’s Oasis of the Seas is the world’s largest cruise ship. And thus just one person to break the bottle of champagne on its bow was never going to do.

So no less than seven celebrities were chosen to take part in the formal naming ceremony on November 30 (one for each neighborhood onboard) No official word on why RCCL chose these women, but assumptions are easy:

Gloria Estefan: She lives in the Miami area, where the ship will launch most of its cruises. Always a good idea to invite the home crowd.

Jane Seymour: Everyone wants their ship to convey the elegance and sophistication of a former Bond girl, and the resorcefulness of a Dr. Quinn.

Keisha Knight Pulliam

Michele Kwan: Known for her grace under pressure, Michele knows how to devote herself to the nitty-gritty details it takes to reach the big stage.

Keisha Knight Pulliam: Let’s face it. Everyone loved Rudy on The Cosby Show, and officials want that same loveableness to rub off on their new ship. And, so far, she hasn’t robbed a liquor store.

Daisy Fuentes: I’m stumped. Maybe they want to remind folks to drink a few glasses of milk during their cruise?

Dara Torres: Duh, she can stay afloat in water. It’s surprising all ships don’t recruit swimmers for their godmothers (or godfathers). Station her on the bow, boys.

Daisy Fuentes

The main idea, as anyone can piece together from this list, is to select folks who will draw a crowd to the ship. Make that a positive crowd, because Adam Lambert has proven he can create a buzz, but perhaps not the kind you want associated with your brand-spanking new ship.

But after someone sweeps up the broken glass and the crowd moves on to dinner, who remembers the hoopla even a year later? For instance, can you name these ships’ godmothers? (answers below)

1. Carnival Dream: Hint, she starred in Mystic River. Yah, that didn’t help me much, either.

2. Norwegian Dawn: She told the crowd “Don’t ever let anyone tell you that size doesn’t matter.” Most men over 40 still know her as Lassie.

3. RCCL Serenade: She made a big whoop out of the opportunity, as usual.

4. Crown Princess: Who’ve have thought a convicted felon would bounce back like this?

5. HAL Zaandam: The sisters sure appealed to the teenybopper crowd — but since they don’t have money or permission to go cruisin’, it was an odd choice.

6. Disney Wonder: They took the fairy part seriously.

1. Marcia Gay Harden, 2. Kim Cattrall, 3. Whoopi Goldberg, 4. Martha Stweart, 5. Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen, 6. Tinkerbell.

Photography: Alan Light, photocology, got milk? ads

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